It's Not Me

I remember the times
When I'd count the days
Until you came back,
But you'd gone away
Leaving me here,
Lost and abandoned
The way you dealt with me,
Was so heavy handed!

Our last conversation,
Still rings in my mind
It will stay inside me,
For the rest of my life
All the empty words,
And pointless excuses,
Meant nothing to me,
You called me useless!

It's not me!
Who holds your hand now
It's not me!
Who understands
It's not me!
Full of pity and hatred,
You're the one who sinned,
And now you have paid for it!

You told me you'd changed
Why couldn't I see?
"You loved another,
When you said you loved me!"
You tried to force a smile,
And woo me with words,
But I turned away,
Because of how much it hurt!

The look in your eyes,
As I walked away,
You wanted my forgiveness,
Words I couldn't say
I started moving,
So you wouldn't see tears,
Living life without you,
Was the worst of my fears!

It's not me!
Who is lying there with you
It's not me!
Who holds you down
It's not me!
Running my hands all over you,
Telling you all the things,
That I want to do!

It's not me...
Who are you talking to?
It's not me...
Who are you crying to?
It's not me...
Is there another lover out there,
That you have abused?!
Leaving him lonely and confused?
I just give up talking,
There's no use!

It's not me!
Who stands there with you now!
It's not me!
Would've ended anyhow!
It's not me!
I raise my voice to shout:
It's not me,
I'm not the one that you love!
It's not me,
I was never the one,
You were thinking of!
It's not me,
I know this didn't turn out.
Like you had planned!
It's not me,
I am walking out the door
Because I no longer give a damn!

No it's not me, my heart will heal
Even though I know it bleeds.

jlp May 17, 2008-Revised April 2, 2009